When a marriage comes to an end, it’s easy to be overcome by negative emotions and frustrations resulting from the deterioration of a once-loving relationship. Those feelings can affect everyone around you and potentially cloud your ability to make good decisions.

Focusing on those emotions can make it challenging to receive a fair outcome when it comes to custody arrangements and dividing marital assets. Instead, work to understand the legal aspects of divorce and how you can remove some of the sting by familiarizing yourself with the process before it begins.

Five things to know before filing for divorce

Consulting with an experienced family law attorney here in North Carolina can help you focus on your goals and the strategy to achieve them. Here are five crucial factors:

  • Don’t focus on “winning”: Rarely does either spouse walk away from a divorce getting everything they wanted. Instead, focus on what’s “fair” when considering custody and dividing assets along with other complex topics.
  • Concentrate on the big items first: Anger and other overwhelming emotions often lead to quick decisions over life-changing items, such as selling the family home. Resist the temptation to act just to move the process along. Thoroughly examine the financial and personal consequences of important decisions.
  • Your kids aren’t getting the divorce: Remember that your spouse will still be your kids’ parent when the divorce is final. Avoid potentially long-lasting negative effects of making mean and hurtful comments about your spouse around your children.
  • Be wary of outside advice: Don’t let comments by friends and family members who have gone through their own divorce influence your strategy and goals. Each divorce is different, and all couples have their own issues.
  • Look at the “big picture”: Approach a divorce with an open mind and focus on the right outcome for you and your family. Letting anger caused by your spouse’s bad actions can influence your decision-making and keep you from moving on and achieving the fresh start you deserve.

Replace emotional actions with thoughtful decisions

Divorce can be overwhelming for everyone involved, and it’s unlikely that anyone will go through the process without it taking an emotional toll. However, understanding that going in will help remove some of the hurt especially when you focus on making informed decisions that lead to the best possible outcome.